February 22, 2018


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Dion Lewis

New England Patriots

Pass Catching Backs Set To Dominate

On first downs this year, the Eagles allow a 65% success rate on RB-passes. That ranks 29th in the league. Dion Lewis averaged 6.5 YPA and a 59% success rate, and James White averaged 7.7 YPA and a 58% success rate on first down passes this season.

02/04/18, 10:36 AM CST by Wheeler


James White

New England Patriots

Pass Catching Backs Set To Dominate

On first downs this year, the Eagles allow a 65% success rate on RB-passes. That ranks 29th in the league. Dion Lewis averaged 6.5 YPA and a 59% success rate, and James White averaged 7.7 YPA and a 58% success rate on first down passes this season.

02/04/18, 10:36 AM CST by Wheeler


Philadelphia Eagles

Attack With 11

The Patriots defense is particularly susceptible to runs out of 11 personnel (1 RB, 1 TE, 3 WRs), allowing a 61% success rate and 6.0 YPC to offenses when rushing from this formation. The Eagles are one of the most run heavy teams from 11 personnel, recording nearly 60% of their total rushes from 11 formation. The Patriots haven’t faced teams like this often, the teams the Pats faced in the playoffs, Tennessee and Jacksonville were last and 5th lowest respectively rushing from 11 formation. This is a massive advantage for the Eagles if they recognize it and use it.

02/04/18, 10:32 AM CST by Wheeler


Jay Ajayi

Philadelphia Eagles

To The Left, To The Left

New England started the season off with one of the worst rush defenses in the entire league, but things have really shifted over the second half of the year. Prior to their Week 9 bye, the Patriots had allowed a 44.70% Success Rate to opposing running backs, the third-worst in the league. That's dropped to about 38% since, and they've had the fifth-best rush defense by Success Rate since Week 12. New England's especially been good at stopping runs to the left side of the field, which just so happens to be where Jay Ajayi has really made a mark since joining the Eagles in Week 9.
I don’t look for Ajayi to make his mark in this game. I know it’s a lazy narrative, but a Blount revenge game seems to really be in the cards here.

02/04/18, 10:30 AM CST by Wheeler


Zach Ertz

Philadelphia Eagles

Pats Could Hit'em Where It Ertz

Zach Ertz leads the Eagles in targets (39) with Foles under center, drawing at least eight in three of their four full games together. Keyed by FS Devin McCourty and SS Patrick Chung, the Pats allowed the NFL’s tenth-fewest receiving yards to tight ends (720) this season, only four opposing tight ends have reached 50 yards through 18 Patriots games.
If Foles continues to pepper Ertz with targets we could see a big game for Chung or McCourty.

02/04/18, 10:25 AM CST by Wheeler


Nelson Agholor

Philadelphia Eagles

Plenty Of Fluids

The Eagles’ biggest pass-catcher personnel mismatch is Nelson Agholor against Patriots slot corner Eric Rowe. Rowe can struggle with quick change of direction, Agholor’s foremost strength. Agholor runs 87% of his routes in the slot, and New England allowed solid games to Eric Decker (6/85/0) in the Divisional Round, and Allen Hurns (6/80/0) in the AFC title game. Agholor still ranks second behind Ertz in Foles targets (29), but has had a surprisingly quiet playoffs with just 7 targets.
This will have to change if the Eagles plan on moving the ball, but Agholor has been sick with the flu for the past few days. He received intravenous fluids Saturday and will play, but it doesn’t sound like he’ll be 100%.

02/04/18, 10:22 AM CST by Wheeler


Danny Amendola

New England Patriots

Danny Playoffs

The Eagles finished second worst this season in percentage of passing yards allowed coming after the catch. Philadelphia struggled on short and intermediate throws this season, specifically to the middle of the field, where they allowed the third-most yards per passing play in the league. Brady was a top-five player in passer rating on these types of tosses. Amendola's been a monster in this year's playoffs for New England, grabbing hold of 22 targets in just two contests, accounting for over 24% of New England's targets. He should continue to play a role on Super Bowl Sunday.

02/04/18, 10:20 AM CST by Wheeler


Rex Burkhead

New England Patriots

Rex Back

Despite being listed as questionable for Sunday’s AFC Championship game vs. Jaguars, it appears as though Patriots’ RB Rex Burkhead will play.
This will cut into the 13 targets Amendola saw last week.

01/20/18, 10:49 PM CST by Wheeler


Adam Thielen

Minnesota Vikings

Making The Wright Move?

Adam Thielen (back) is questionable for Sunday's NFC Championship game against the Eagles.
He's fully expected to play after limited practices the last two days. He probably won’t be 100 percent so if you’re putting in a line-up you might want to pivot to Diggs or save some money and drop down to Jarius Wright who grabbed three-of-six targets for 56 yards Sunday and has established himself as the number three WR in this offense.

01/20/18, 10:31 PM CST by Wheeler


Leonard Fournette

Jacksonville Jaguars

Ankle In Question Again

Fournette aggravated his ankle in the Divisional Round and was limited early in the week. He was left off the injury report for Sunday's AFC Championship game. Fournette saw a heavy workload last week getting 27 touches in Jacksonville's upset of the Steelers. T.J. Yeldon rushed five times for 20 yards and a touchdown and caught 3-of-3 targets for 57 yards. If you’re looking for a cheaper option I expect we see Yeldon to be used to keep Fournette from aggravating the injury early.

01/20/18, 10:23 PM CST by Wheeler


Tom Brady

New England Patriots

Give Him A Hand

Reports are that Tom Brady threw the ball "incredibly well" during Friday's practice. He is listed as questionable for Sunday's AFC Championship game against Jacksonville, but I don’t think there was any real doubt that he’d play. Keep in mind what D-Rex spoke about on the Pyro Podcast 303 andScott Barrett tweeted about Brady last week:
Weeks 1-10: 21.2 fantasy points per game, 110.9 passer rating
Weeks 11-17: 14.2 fantasy points per game, 87.3 passer rating
The hand injury on top of his achilles injury, as well as going against the Jags #1 rated pass defense could keep the Patriots attack grounded this week. Lewis is the obvious play, but if Burkhead (Q) comes back it could be he or White that steals the show.

01/20/18, 10:22 PM CST by Wheeler


Tom Brady

New England Patriots

Tom Still Terrific?

Tom Brady was first listed on the team's injury report with an Achilles injury heading in to Week 11.
Weeks 1-10: 21.2 fantasy points per game, 110.9 passer rating
Weeks 11-17: 14.2 fantasy points per game, 87.3 passer rating

Fantasy Goo: This should line up for a good week for Brady, Tennessee is 8th in fantasy points allowed to RB’s, but just below average against QB’s. The Patriots are 13 point favorites on Saturday Night, if Brady doesn’t do it at home in prime-time then something is wrong.

01/09/18, 07:30 PM CST by Wheeler


Alvin Kamara

New Orleans Saints

Primary Role Shifting

Saints have run 5 times at/inside opponent's 5-yard line over last 4 weeks (including playoffs):
Alvin Kamara 3 carries, Zach Line 1, Mark Ingram 1. Kamara was in on all 3 Saints run plays at/inside 5 vs. Panthers last week, including Line's 1-yard TD run.

Fantasy Goo: If you’re trying to decide between Kamara and Ingram for the playoff run, Kamara looks to be the much better play.

01/09/18, 07:20 PM CST by Wheeler


Jay Ajayi

Philadelphia Eagles

It's A Trap

Jay Ajayi (knee) is practicing in full for the Divisional Round.

Fantasy Goo: Atlanta is 5th in fantasy points allowed to RB’s this year and they are more susceptible to pass-catching backs. Todd Gurley rushed 14 times for 101 yards in the Rams' Wild Card loss to the Falcons, adding four receptions for 10 additional yards. Ajayi might have been drafted before Gurley this year, but that was clearly a mistake. Ajayi has talent, but he’s far from a good option this week.

01/09/18, 07:16 PM CST by Wheeler


Chris Hogan

New England Patriots

Back in Action

Chris Hogan (shoulder) is expected to return for Saturday's Divisional Round game against the Titans.

Fantasy Goo: He’s going to take a couple of weeks to get in tune with the offense, I’m looking to save him until the Super Bowl if you’re in one of those one and done fantasy playoff tournaments.

01/09/18, 07:14 PM CST by Wheeler


Drew Brees

New Orleans Saints

Strength vs Strength

Saints RBs led NFL during regular season in receptions (9.0) and receiving yards (77.8) per game.
Vikings held opposing RBs to fewest yards per target (4.2) and 3rd-fewest yards per game (30.6).

Fantasy Goo: The Vikings have been absolutely sick in all aspects on defense this year. If the Saints are going to pull this one out it sounds like it’s going to have to be a Brees week, I’m not so sure he’s going to be the guy you want to start on the road this week.

01/09/18, 07:12 PM CST by Wheeler


LeSean McCoy

Buffalo Bills

Not The Real McCoy

LeSean McCoy said if he plays Sunday, "I want to be able to cut well enough to where I don't have a lot of pain cutting. I just want to be close, or the best as far as 100 percent as I can get. The type of game like this, you got to lay it all on the line.”

Fantasy Goo: McCoy is a poor play against the Jags this week. The Jags strength on defense is against the pass (#1 in FP allowed), but they are still strong against the rush (11th). I’m not taking any Bills on fantasy playoff squads or in DFS this week.

01/04/18, 09:29 PM CST by Wheeler


Derrick Henry

Tennessee Titans

Arrow Pointing Down

DeMarco Murray (knee) didn't practice again Thursday. Derrick Henry show ready to go.

Fantasy Goo: The way to attack KC is through the air, they rank 9th in fantasy points allowed to RB’s. They will most likely be in negative game script. KC hasn’t allowed any team to score over 20 points in Arrowhead all year.

01/04/18, 09:27 PM CST by Wheeler


Julio Jones

Atlanta Falcons

No Fly Zone

Julio Jones finished 11th in NFL in red-zone targets but caught only 5 of 19. He finished 4th in targets inside 10 but only caught 4 of 11.

Fantasy Goo: The Rams have a strong pass defense, especially against outside receivers, but are second worst in fantasy points allowed to RB’s. Freeman and Coleman are the only Falcons I am considering this week.

01/04/18, 09:25 PM CST by Wheeler


Kenny Golladay

Detroit Lions

Under the Radar

In the first game with TJ Jones (shoulder) on IR last week, Kenny Golladay played 95% of snaps and led DET WRs with 8 targets.

Fantasy Goo: Marvin Jones has a history of shredding the Packers defense and is a solid play at $6500 on DK, but Golladay is half the price ($3300) and will probably see a similar number of targets. If Detroit had something to play for I’d be stacking the heck out of this game, but I still think it’s smart to have one of these guys in the line-up this week.

12/31/17, 09:46 AM CST by Wheeler


Patrick Mahomes

Kansas City Chiefs

Rookie Debut

Patrick Mahomes was 2nd in PFF’s QB Rating when kept clean in preseason. He rushed for 744 yards, 22 TDs in his last two years at Texas Tech. Denver has allowed multiple passing TDs to six-straight QBs not named Petty or Brissett.

Fantasy Goo: The rookie was supposed to take over for Alex Smith much earlier this season, but Smith and the Chief’s came out firing on all cylinders and kept the rookie on the bench. Mahomes will get his chance this week as Smith gets a week off before the playoffs. Denver may be packing it in, but they still have one of the best defenses and I expect they will play more inspired this week against a division rival.

12/31/17, 09:32 AM CST by Wheeler


Bitchslap, Installment #1

Bitchslap, Installment #1

Posted by d-Rx on 10/06/12

by   The Archer


More Articals


bitchslap! 01/04 - by houdini






The Bitchslap is back for another year, and it only gets better this season.  For those of you who are not familiar with the Bitchslap, this is my opportunity to rail on the players that have ruined your fantasy season to this point.  This is a fun piece where I get to vent on these guys for failing you and hopefully give them the inspiration they need to right the ship going forward.  I will be breaking the season down into 4 quarters and delivering Bitchslaps every 4 weeks.  Each installment will only cover the previous 4 weeks of the season, so this installments lucky recipients have the opportunity to clear their name over the next 4 weeks, otherwise they will receive their 2nd Bitchslap in a row. 


aaron rodgers pyro character

Aaron Rodgers – Here is a name I definitely did not expect to see on the list.  What the Fuck is wrong with you Rodgers???  Did you know that you went 1st in a shit ton of fantasy leagues this year?  You are currently the 11th best quarterback in standard scoring leagues with a mere 68 points.  Your games against the Bears and Seattle left a lot to be desired as you threw for 442 yards and 1 TD total in both games…WTF!!!  I expect you to stay on track with your week 4 performance of 319 yards and 4 TD and not to see you here again, but you are here so get ready for my backhanded Pimp BITCHSLAP!!!



matthew stafford pyro character

Matthew Stafford – Stafford, you had a breakout season last year and have the best wide receiver in the game, and so far this season you are BLOWING ASS!!!  You are the 14th best quarterback with 61 points and have yet to throw for more than 1 TD in a game!!!  Not to mention the fact that you have more interceptions than TD passes, you are freaking killing me and other owners.  What is up with the dink and dump passes everywhere???  Did you see what Shaun Hill did when he came in for you and hit Calvin Johnson all over the field?  Time to step up your game and get your shit together, and for your ineptitude through the first 4 weeks I am giving you the double handed BITCHSLAP!!!



mike vick pyro character

Michael Vick – Vick liked being Bitchslapped so good last year that he is back for more.  Vick is such a disappointment and is driving his owners crazy with his knack for turning the ball over.  In just 4 games this season Vick has turned the ball over 11 times!!!  Are you fucking kidding me???  Vick you are a bum and not only are you turning the ball over like crazy, you are only completing 56.8% of passes and you have yet to run for more than 50 yards in a game.  Get your shit together and in the meantime enjoy your tasty BITCHSLAP!!!


philip rivers pyro character

Philip Rivers – How quick can you fall from the elite?  Let’s ask Philip Rivers who was the darling of Fantasy 2 years ago and got worse last season and is off to a horrible start to 2012.  Rivers you currently rank 20th amongst quarterbacks with a pathetic 50 points to your name.  You used to be the guy who was throwing for 300 yards almost every week and this season you have not managed to throw one 300 yard game and not only that, you have thrown for less than 231 yards 3 times!!!  You are a disgrace to Air Coryell, so this is going to be a bomb from back in the day and landing hard with your BITCHSLAP!!!


tony romo pyro character

Tony Romo – Tony Tony Tony, what can I say other than you totally SUCK BALLS!!!  You made all your owners feel really good about themselves after week 1, and then you have laid egg after egg after egg.  Do you realize over the past 3 games you have 2 TD passes and 7 INT!!!  You are the 23rd rated quarterback with a paltry 46 points!!!  It’s Big D in Dallas for DISGRACE!!!  You have some of the most talented skill players around you and still can’t put up any stats!!!  Jessica Simpson is coming back at 40 lbs heavier to deliver your BITCHSLAP!!!



lesean mccoy pyro character

LeSean McCoy – Another top notch first rounder that I did not expect to see on this list.  McCoy do you realize you are currently the 15th best running back and have 1 more point than Jackie Freaking Battle!!!  You currently have more fumbles (2) than TD (1)!!! You have been completely ineffective as a #1 RB in Fantasy through the first 4 weeks and you better get your shit straightened out, or you are going to singlehandedly bring down all the owners who put their faith in you to lead them to victory!!!  Get ready for a big motivational BITCHSLAP!!!



demarco murray pyro character

DeMarco Murray – DeMarco, you are currently looking like a 1 year wonder…wait I can’t say that because you did not even have a full year last season.  You were drafted very high this season and what have you done to pay back your owners???  You are the 20th best running back, congrats on being the lowest scoring RB2 in Fantasy!!!  You have been absolutely dazzling your last 3 games with 106 yards and 1 TD TOTAL!!!  You have got to be joking???  You are supposed to be Mr. Big Play and were going to take the Fantasy world by storm, but it looks like you have been downgraded to a drizzle!!!  I have watched your last 3 games and I noticed you can’t get away from a tackler so this should be real easy to hit you with this BITCHSLAP!!!


darren mcfadden pyro character

Darren McFadden – McFadden you were supposed to be the unstoppable force this season and you look like the undeniable farce so far!!!  You are the 22nd ranked running back just ahead of Cedric Benson, nice company you are keeping these days.  I hope you realize, because I sure have, that if you take away your 1 TD run of the year (which went for 64 yards) that you have 137 total yards on the season with a stellar 2.44 yards per carry!!!  You are supposed to be the Ultra Back, you look like an Ultra Crap I took this morning!!!  Your fantasy owners and I need you to step it up, so here is my legendary 2.4 yards per carry BITCHSLAP!!!


david wilson pyro character

David Wilson – Wilson you really made this easy on me with your first and nearly last carry of the season which you fumbled!!!  I am going to keep this short and sweet, like your career might be if you keep this up.  We pegged you as a guy to get in Fantasy this year and you FUCKED US!!!  Get ready because I have a feeling you might fumble when you get hit with this BITCHSLAP!!!


shonn greene pyro character

Shonn Greene – Shonn, my Iowa boy, you have really let me down this season.  I am keeping this one between you and me because I thought you were going to step up and own the backfield for the Jets, but boy was I wrong.  You gave me reason to believe in week 1 with 97 yards and then have SHIT the bed for the past 3 weeks!!!  On top of that it looks like you are going to lose a lot of carries to Bilel Powell, nice work!!!  You are ineffective in the redzone and well pretty much all over the field to this point.  I am pissed off and giving you a special delivery from Iowa City…yeah it’s a BITCHSLAP!!!


chris johnson pyro character

Chris Johnson – Well CJ.5K you did it again and fooled owners into spending a high draft pick on you.  It’s nice that you decided to play football again in week 4, but that does not excuse you from your first 3 weeks where you posted 45 total yards on 33 carries!!!  I just don’t understand how a guy who ran for 2,000 yards can look so bad when you are not that far removed from that season, but I guess you, along with Vick just loved getting your Bitchslap last season that you had to come back for more.  Good news for you, as I have 3 more of these lined up and ready for you, but let’s just get the first one out of the way with the over handed windmill BITCHSLAP!!!


julio jones pyro character

Julio Jones – Julio, I don’t think you have any idea how much we had been building you up going into this season and even had you as our second ranked WR to draft this year…WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!  You are the 17th best wide receiver so far this season and your last 3 games with 10 catches and 111 yards total is not getting it done!!!  I still believe in you and because of that I am giving you the biggest MOTIVATIONAL BITCHSLAP!!!


greg jennings pyro character

Greg Jennings – Jennings the best thing about you this season has been your Old Spice commercials.  You were another receiver that many pegged as their #1 receiver to draft and you have been one of the biggest busts so far this year.  You have perhaps the best quarterback in the game and are on a team that rarely runs the ball and you still can’t put up stats or stay healthy!!!  When you are healthy, which won’t be in week 5, you have managed 78 yards on 12 catches all season…THAT IS PATHETIC!!!  I have your place waiting for you in the next installment, but until then, I hope this one stings, enjoy your first of many… BITCHSLAP!!!


jordy nelson pyro character

Jordy Nelson – Might as well stay in Green Bay and talk to the 32nd ranked wide receiver.  So Jordy, Jennings is out and you are the main weapon and what have you done with it???  NOT FUCKING MUCH!!!  You had a breakout season last year and were supposed to carry that forward into this season but have failed to do so.  You had 15 TD last season and have managed only 1 in the first 4 weeks!!!  You came through with a nice game in week 4 and I expect that trend to continue and I don’t want to see you in my office again in 4 weeks.  So on your way out feast on this BITCHSLAP!!!


hakeem nicks pyro character

Hakeem Nicks – Nicks what’s new buddy?  How are you feeling?  Are you a little under the weather?  WHAT’S FUCKING NEW, YOU ARE HURT AGAIN!!!  You made all your owners feel great with 10 catches for 199 yards and TD in week 2 and then have failed to see the field the next 2 weeks and might not play this Sunday.  You are a total MINDFUCK to all your owners and have been that way for years now!!!  I am done talking about you and hope the injuries you have don’t get worse after this BITCHSLAP!!!


dez bryant pyro character

Dez Bryant – Bryant you did great in week 4 getting your first 100 yard receiving game of your career, but HOW IS THAT YOUR FIRST 100 YARD GAME!!!  You are a beast and should be a total weapon in the redzone for your team, but you have ZERO FREAKING TD THIS SEASON!!!  You have all the tools to be a dominating player in this league, but just have not realized it yet.  I am going to do you a favor and turn this one around on you by handing off the honor of this slap to your mother.   Mother knows best how give you your BITCHSLAP!!!



jeremy maclin pyro character

Jeremy Maclin – Maclin, I thought you were coming into camp totally healthy this season and you were going to take the league by storm this year…thanks for making me look stupid!!!  You made me feel great after week one where you had 100 yards and a TD and then came the rest of the season to this point.  You have managed only 2 catches for 30 FUCKING YARDS IN THE LAST 2 GAMES YOU PLAYED!!!  Not to mention that while you were healthy you were only targeted 3 times in week 4!!!  I traded a boatload to get you in one of my keeper leagues in the offseason and you have been TOTAL SHIT!!!  I hope this one finds you and wakes you up, so you get a backhanded, overhand with a twist BITCHSLAP!!!


robert meachem pyro character

Robert Meachem – Meachem I had you pegged as a sleeper breakout player this year and you made the fool of me…Now it’s my turn!!!  YOU SUCK SO MUCH ASS AND HAVE RUINED MY QB IN RIVERS, I HATE YOU…I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN UNTIL  4 WEEKS FROM NOW WHEN I GE THE CHANCE TO DO THIS AGAIN!!!  YOU GET THE, I SUCK SO BAD I GET ALL CAPS BITCHSLAP!!!


jason witten pyro character

Jason Witten – Nice Spleen you FUCKING BITCH!!!  You let everyone down for the first 3 weeks of the season and were so fucking bad that most of your owners BENCHED YOU LAST WEEK!!!  After benching you come out with 13 receptions for 112 yards and TD against the Bears…YOUR OWNERS FUCKING HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!!!  So which Witten is going to come out this week???  No way to know so in the meantime let me give this underperforming Spleen a hearty BITCHSLAP!!!    


jermichael finley pyro character

Jermichael Finley – Finley you are a specimen and should be impossible to defend with your size and speed…SO WHAT’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM???  You have failed to have a game with more than 60 yards!!!  Are you kidding me???  You also let your agent run his mouth and say that your quarterback is not a great leader…THAT SURE HELPED!!!  You need to screw your head on straight, learn how to hold onto easy passes and not fumble when Charles Tillman hits you…let’s see if you can hold on after this BITCHSLAP!!!


fred davis pyro character

Fred Davis – Davis, you broke out last year and things were looking even better for you with RGIII going off to start the season…so what’s your deal???  You have been completely ineffective for all but 1 week and STILL CAN’T FIND THE ENDZONE!!!  There are many who expected you to take the next step this year, like myself, so it is with great pain and a heavy hand that I give you this BITCHSLAP!!!


antonio gates pyro character

Antonio Gates – Antonio I am going to close out the first installments of Bitchslaps with you, as you may be one of the most deserving so far this year.  You are currently the 29th best Tight End in standard leagues…YES 29TH!!!  I can’t believe that you have been so bad this year, but then the stats don’t lie.  You have not more than 4 catches in a game and your yardage high for the season was a 59 yard game against the lowly Chiefs.  You are the prototype for all the other Tight Ends in the league, but you are not playing like it.  GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!  For doing nothing so far you have a well earned and deserved BITCHSLAP!!!




BY HOUDINI (email me)