Week 7
October 17, 2017
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George Kittle

San Francisco 49ers

Waiver Wire Target


Kittle had a very average game this week catching four passes for 46 yards, but there could be some good news that came out of this game for him. C.J. Beathard has been named the starter for the rest of the season, and that was Kittle’s college quarterback, so you know there is immediate chemistry there that could pay nice dividends in the coming weeks


10/16/17, 05:36 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Alex Collins

Baltimore Ravens

Waiver Wire Target


Collins got the majority of the carries for the Ravens this week with 15 of them for 74 yards. He looks like he will be in a time share with Javorious Allen, but this was the first time we saw him take the majority of the carries, making him more interesting going forward.


10/16/17, 05:35 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Austin Hooper

Atlanta Falcons

Waiver Wire Target


Without Sanu the Falcons leaned a lot more on Hooper, who finished with seven receptions for 48 yards. He is becoming a bigger part of the Falcons offense, and he has big play potential that makes him a worthy add.


10/16/17, 05:34 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Ted Ginn Jr

New Orleans Saints

Waiver Wire Target


Ginn is the deep threat receiver for Drew Brees and they connected on a 20-yard score this week. Ginn finished with four receptions for 66 yards including that score. The Saints offense is lacking the big play and Ginn can provide the pop in the passing game.


10/16/17, 05:26 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Samaje Perine

Washington Redskins

Waiver Wire Target


Perine finally found the endzone this week, but his final stat line was not that pretty with nine carries for just 23 yards and three receptions for 24 yards and a touchdown. Samaje has lacked the big play, which has limited him in fantasy.


10/16/17, 05:25 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


D'Onta Foreman

Houston Texans

Waiver Wire Target


Foreman got his customary 12 carries and this week gained 59 yards, but was once again held without a touchdown. He is getting a consistent workload, but he is not busting the big play to make him a worthy fantasy start.


10/16/17, 05:23 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Mike Wallace

Baltimore Ravens

Waiver Wire Target


After a stellar week Wallace came back down to earth, catching three passes for 30 yards. Wallace is a boom or bust.


10/16/17, 05:23 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Kendall Wright

Chicago Bears

Waiver Wire Target


Wright was basically invisible this game with two catches for 36 yards, and did not make a catch until the third quarter. There is too much inconsistency in the Bears passing offense.


10/16/17, 05:22 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Adam Humphries

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Waiver Wire Target


Humphries continued to be a decent part of the passing game, catching six passes for 51 yards this week. He was able to do this with Ryan Fitzpatrick having to come in for Winston, so it shows that Humphries is a regular part of their offense.


10/16/17, 05:21 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


C.J. Beathard

San Francisco 49ers

Waiver Wire Target


Beathard came in relief of Brian Hoyer, who was horrible, and finished with 245 passing yards with one touchdown and one interception. Kyle Shanahan has named Beathard the starting quarterback the rest of the season. He is only worth adding in deeper leagues, but he should also give you some yards on the ground.


10/16/17, 05:20 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Nelson Agholor

Philadelphia Eagles

Waiver Wire Target


Agholor was scooped up in a lot of leagues last week, and he stayed hot this week catching four passes for 55 yards with another touchdown. Nelson has become a favorite target of Carson Wentz, and he is getting favorable matchups with Jeffery and Ertz drawing most of the defensive attention.


10/16/17, 05:19 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Darren McFadden

Dallas Cowboys

Waiver Wire Target


Morris may already be taken in your league, but he will be sharing time with McFadden while Zeke sits on the sidelines. If you are in a deep league and need a flier, here he is.


10/16/17, 05:18 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Orleans Darkwa

New York Giants

Waiver Wire Target


Darkwa is the Giant running back that has emerged as the lead back for the team. He torched the Broncos defense for 117 yards on 21 carries and caught one pass for 13 yards. He showed some nice burst and that will likely get him another big workload in their next game.


10/16/17, 05:14 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Bennie Fowler

Denver Broncos

Waiver Wire Target


Fowler only had three receptions for 21 yards, but could be in line for a lot more work with the injury to Emmanuel Sanders. This is not a prolific passing attack, but he will start to seen enough targets to be added in fantasy.


10/16/17, 05:13 PM CDT by Houdini

Source: pyromaniac.com


Eli Manning

New York Giants

The Last Eli


Did you lose Aaron Rodgers in week 6? Do you have solid skill players carrying your squad, but are looking at the wire now for a QB for the stretch run in a deep league? You may want Eli Manning right now. He’s most likely sitting there on your waiver wire or can be traded for in exchange for some bantha fodder. (for the Star Wars fans. Waz up?) Nobody is going to want Manning after throwing for 128yds and 1TD in week 6. Then in week 7, have a match up with the Seahawks?! Hell no! Then a bye in week 8?! Forget that right?

Well....with the emergence of Evan Engram, and Sterling Shepard probably returning after the bye for week 9, there may be a new hope for Manning owners looking ahead. Manning is a durable, 2 time SB champion who makes players around him better. He's been doing it well before OBJ was there. Manning made players like Victor Cruz and Hakeem Nicks studs. How did David Tyree’s career go after leaving Manning? He got rich, but that’s not the point, or is it? With Engram, Shepard, and after some more reps with Roger Lewis and company; Manning could have a solid weekly floor of 230yds and 2TDs. That may not sound sexy, but I’ve seen fantasy championships won with QB’s like Josh Freeman with similar production, as long as you have quality skill players around him.

The Giants schedule after they return in week 9 from their bye isn't too shabby: vs Rams, @49ers, vs Chiefs, @Redskins, @Raiders, and face the Cowboys, Eagles and @Cardinals in the fantasy playoffs.


10/16/17, 03:31 PM CDT by Pete Z

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


A.J. Green

Cincinnati Bengals

These receivers are on pace for...


Antonio Brown is on pace to have 1,867 on the season.

A.J. Green: is on pace to have 1,613 on the season.

Adam Thielen is on pace to have 1,304 on the season.


10/16/17, 12:11 PM CDT by Stagg Party

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Antonio Brown

Pittsburgh Steelers

These receivers are on pace for...


Antonio Brown is on pace to have 1,867 on the season.

A.J. Green: is on pace to have 1,613 on the season.

Adam Thielen is on pace to have 1,304 on the season.


10/16/17, 12:11 PM CDT by Stagg Party

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Adam Thielen

Minnesota Vikings

These receivers are on pace for...


Antonio Brown is on pace to have 1,867 on the season.

A.J. Green: is on pace to have 1,613 on the season.

Adam Thielen is on pace to have 1,304 on the season.


10/16/17, 12:11 PM CDT by Stagg Party

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Deshaun Watson

Houston Texans

Watson on pace for eternal greatness!


Deshaun Watson is currently on pace for 40 passing TDs. Needs just 12 more to break the NFL rookie record of Wilson and Manning. (1.2 TDs/G)

Watson is also on pace to be the only quarterback this season to rush for over 500 yards.


10/16/17, 11:33 AM CDT by Stagg Party

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Stefon Diggs

Minnesota Vikings

No Diggity


Stefon Diggs has been ruled out against the Packers for Week 6.

Fantasy Goo: Take him out of your lineup or get a goose egg from him.


10/15/17, 09:22 AM CDT by d-Rx

Source: twitter.com


Tyreek Hill

Kansas City Chiefs

Chiefs WR corps isn't very good


Tyreek Hill and the entire passing attack should be flex or bench material this week against the Steelers, but I am well aware you can’t really bench Hill. He’s too explosive and returns a lot of kicks for touchdowns, but just don’t expect a lot of production through the air. Corey Colman and Mike Wallace were the only two receivers this year to score on the Steelers and Hill can easily put up one himself, but the Chiefs may not need to pass more than 15 times this game.

Fantasy Goo: With Chris Conley suffering a ruptured Achilles tendon last weekend, it's hard to like this receiving corps much beyond Tyreek Hill.


10/15/17, 09:15 AM CDT by d-Rx

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Chris Conley

Kansas City Chiefs

Chiefs WR corps isn't very good


Tyreek Hill and the entire passing attack should be flex or bench material this week against the Steelers, but I am well aware you can’t really bench Hill. He’s too explosive and returns a lot of kicks for touchdowns, but just don’t expect a lot of production through the air. Corey Colman and Mike Wallace were the only two receivers this year to score on the Steelers and Hill can easily put up one himself, but the Chiefs may not need to pass more than 15 times this game.

Fantasy Goo: With Chris Conley suffering a ruptured Achilles tendon last weekend, it's hard to like this receiving corps much beyond Tyreek Hill.


10/15/17, 09:15 AM CDT by d-Rx

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Albert Wilson

Kansas City Chiefs

Chiefs WR corps isn't very good


Tyreek Hill and the entire passing attack should be flex or bench material this week against the Steelers, but I am well aware you can’t really bench Hill. He’s too explosive and returns a lot of kicks for touchdowns, but just don’t expect a lot of production through the air. Corey Colman and Mike Wallace were the only two receivers this year to score on the Steelers and Hill can easily put up one himself, but the Chiefs may not need to pass more than 15 times this game.

Fantasy Goo: With Chris Conley suffering a ruptured Achilles tendon last weekend, it's hard to like this receiving corps much beyond Tyreek Hill.


10/15/17, 09:15 AM CDT by d-Rx

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Mike Williams

Los Angeles Chargers

Mike to make his NFL Debut!


Mike Williams, who was the 7th overall pick by the LA Chargers in April will make his NFL debut today.

Fantasy Goo: Lot's of mouths to feed, and he'll be brought back slowly, keep your expectations low unless Tyrell or Keenen get hurt.


10/15/17, 09:12 AM CDT by d-Rx

Source: twitter.com

Bitchslapping underperforming fantasy football players since 1994

Bitchslap!!! Installment 1 of 4 (2017)

Posted by Houdini on 10/08/17

by   The Archer


@TheArcher


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Installment 1 of 4

 

 

It is once again that time of year where I do some reflection on what has transpired so far in the fantasy football season. In particular, this is the time to look back on the players who you drafted with the hopes of winning you a championship, but who have not given the type of production that was expected. This is a chance for me to get even for all of you owners that have been let down by these players, and hopefully spur them on to better days ahead. The first installment looks at the performances of players between NFL Weeks 1-4, with 5-8, 9-12 and 13-16 as the following installments. If any player were to be included in all four installments they will be crowned with the Golden Sombrero Bitchslap!!! or GSBS!!! Without any further ado, let’s get to slapping some fools!!!

 

QUARTERBACKS

 

DEREK CARR

Derek, the way you started the season, 492 passing yards with five touchdowns and no interceptions through two weeks, I did not figure for you to be on my list, but your last two performances were just awful. In Week 3 you threw for 118 yards with one touchdown and two interceptions and followed up that with another stinker throwing for 143 yards with one score. Now you are dealing with a major back problem and while I am not a chiropractor the only correction I know how to give is this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MATT RYAN

Matty Ice is a true enough nickname for you, the way you have iced your owners out of victories this season. You threw for 321 yards in Week 1, but have only topped 255 yards once since then. That would be fine if you were throwing touchdowns like last year, but instead you have a mere five touchdown passes with five interceptions on the season. For all the weapons that you have on this offense to be putting up these craptastic numbers is a crime. At this time last year you had 11 touchdowns with two interceptions, and this year you have a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Ben, you have been as mediocre as ever this year with bland game after bland game. You have topped 250 passing yards in only one game this year, and have thrown for just one touchdown in a game twice. You currently rank 20th amongst quarterbacks, which is absurd when you have AB, MB and LB to distribute the ball to. That has made owners of those players angry as well, and they have called for it and I will deliver your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

CAM NEWTON

Cam you had a fantastic game in Week 4, but that was not enough to cover up the train wreck you were for your owners in the first three weeks. In those games you threw for a combined 566 yards with two touchdowns and four interceptions, and you failed to help your owners on the ground with 46 yards and only one touchdown. You showed great flash in Week 4, so I am going to give you a motivational kick in the ass with this BITCHSLAP!!!

 


RUNNING BACKS

 

LESEAN MCCOY

Shady, you started off the season with a bang running for 110 yards and catching five passes for 49 yards, but you over your next three games you ran for 106 yards and caught 16 passes for 114 yards. Thankfully you were adding yards through the air because you look like your running on empty with a 3.2 YPA and no touchdowns over the first four weeks. You were a top-10 pick and have given your owners nothing but regret, but the one thing they won’t regret is seeing you get your first BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DEMARCO MURRAY

Demarco, it has been a complete turnaround from the standout season you had a year ago. You have only had one breakout game in Week 3 with 115 rushing yards and a touchdown, but the other three games only produced 44, 25 and 31 rushing yards all without a touchdown. You are no longer getting the high volume of touches, which hurts, but not as much as this high volume BITCHSLAP!!!

 

CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY

Hey rookie you were supposed to take the fantasy world by storm, but instead seem like you have a dark cloud hanging over you. As a runner you have been nothing special with 89 rushing yards on 32 carries and no touchdowns. You have been better through the air with 206 receiving yards, but you have not scored a touchdown yet. You have amazing speed, but have been bottled up this year, so I am going to welcome you to the NFL by popping open your first ever BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MARSHAWN LYNCH

Marshawn, you came back to football to play for your hometown Raiders, but it looks like your best football may have been left on the couch at home playing Madden. You gained 76 yards on the ground in Week 1, and have seen your rushing totals decrease each week since: 45, 18 and 12 yards. You were also brought in to be a battering ram at the goal line, but have only scored once and have a weak 3.4 YPA on the season. I want to remind you of your past, so bring the Beast Mode or in four weeks you will get another Least Mode BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JOE MIXON

Hey Joe, where you going with that football in your hand? Unfortunately, not very far as you have only rushed for 136 yards on the season with a paltry 2.6 YPA and no touchdowns. You have topped 50 yards rushing in a game just once, and have been held under 30 yards rushing twice. You have not brought the electric play that many expected; so hopefully I can help turn on the power with your first BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JAY AJAYI

Jay, you started out on fire in your first game with 122 yards on the ground, but have been silent in your next two games with 16 and 46 yards on the ground. You are also a big play guy, and that has eluded you with a long run of 20 yards so far on the season. The other thing that has eluded you is the endzone with no touchdowns, but there is one thing that did not elude you and that is your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

ISAIAH CROWELL

Crow, everyone thought you were a solid pick this year that was sure to out produce your draft slot, but that has absolutely not been the case. You have yet to rush for more than 50 yards in a game, have not found the endzone and averaging just 2.9 YPA. You have caused panic amongst your owners, and they are at a loss of what to do with you. Thankfully I know just what to do, so stand up and accept your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

PAUL PERKINS

Paul, you were supposed to be a sleeper this year as you took over the lead role in the Giants backfield, but all you have been is a backfire. As bad a Crowell has been, you make him look like an all-pro. You have managed rushing totals of 16, 10, 22 and 13 yards with no scores, and a ridiculous 1.9 YPA. You may have been the worst running back in the first four weeks and look like you might be the lead candidate for the GSBS!!!, but before we get there let me give you your first well earned BITCHSLAP!!!

 

EDDIE LACY

Eddie, you were supposed to rejuvenate your career playing in the Marshawn Lynch role for the Seahawks, but you look like an old boat in the water covered in Seagull poop. You only played in two games, and the second was only because of injuries to the rest of the backfield. You have rushed for 55 yards on 16 carries and have not gotten in the endzone. You have been doing a decent job keeping your weight down, but you are about to eat a big ol’ BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

WIDE RECEIVERS

 

AMARI COOPER

Amari, there were a lot of experts that thought you were ready to make the jump into a top-5 receiver in fantasy…boy were they wrong. In Week 1 you had your best game of the season with five catches for 62 yards and a score, but followed that up with the following stat lines: 4-33, 1-6 and 2-9. That is not WR1 production, those are stats that get you benched and a wake the hell up BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JAMEISON CROWDER

Crowder, you were a sexy sleeper pick, but you have turned into the girlfriend from hell. Your high yardage game of the season went for 52 yards, and you have managed just 14 receptions for 106 yards with no scores on the season. At least the girlfriend from hell will give it up once in awhile, while you are just the bitchy the side and proud owner of this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JULIO JONES

Julio, you were supposed to be a world-beater this year coming off a down season for you and unfortunately it looks like more of the same this year. You have just one 100-yard game so far this year and have been held under 70 yards twice, while failing to find the endzone all season long. That lack of production makes it easy to find you with this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DEZ BRYANT

Dez, you had a tough schedule to start the year, but you are supposed to be one of the best receivers and should be able to overcome that…you didn’t. You have been held under 60 yards in three of four weeks, and have been held to two receptions in two games. You have found the endzone twice, but that barely masks the failures that you have given your fantasy owners who hope to see you get it turned around after this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MARTAVIS BRYANT

From one Bryant to another and Martavis you have been even worse than Dez. You have been held under 50 yards in three weeks and have just one touchdown through four games. You are supposed to be a big play receiver, but that is hard to accomplish when you only catch 10 of your 23 targets so far on the season. That is a horrible catch rate, and a sure fire way to get in line for this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DEMARYIUS THOMAS

Demaryius, you have been a far cry from the receiver we saw dominate the NFL with Peyton Manning, and this season it has been ho-hum all the way. You have totaled 67, 71, 98 and 11 passing yards in your four games, and have yet to find the endzone. Without touchdowns those are games that get owners L’s, and get you a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

TERRELLE PRYOR

Terrelle, you were supposed to be the most heavily targeted Washington receiver this year with the departure of Garcon and Jackson, but you have only topped three receptions in a game once this year. You also have yet to top the 70-yard mark in a game, and only have one touchdown so far. Your Weeks 2 and 3 performances that totaled four receptions for 50 yards were pure disasters for your owners, who want to see you pick up the pieces after your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

KELVIN BENJAMIN

Kelvin, you have been a Jekyll and Hyde this season with your only good performances coming in even numbered weeks. In Weeks 2 and 4 you totaled 10 receptions for 181 yards, while in Weeks 1 and 3 you totaled three receptions for 33 yards and failed to get in the endzone in any week. We don’t expect you to have 150-yard games, but we do expect touchdowns, and without them you should expect this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DESEAN JACKSON

DJAX, you are always the big hit or miss player, but you have been all misses through the first four weeks of the season, thankfully for you it was only three games but still horrible. In Week 3 you had a strong performance with four receptions for 84 yards and a score, but had lines of 3-39 and 2-20 in your other two games. You have failed to hit on the deep shots this year, so hopefully you will get more in sync after this 70-yard BITCHSLAP!!!

 

T.Y. HILTON

T.Y., you have the excuse of not having Andrew Luck on the field, and with that being said you have managed decent stats, but not enough to get out of my cross hairs. You have been held under 60 yards in three games, and have found the endzone only once. There is a good chance that you don’t return to this article again when Andrew Luck returns, but until then get motivated by your BITCHSLAP!!!

 


TIGHT ENDS

 

HUNTER HENRY

Hunter, you have been a complete disappointment this season after showing such promise in your rookie campaign. You have been held under 20 receiving yards three times this year including two big fat ZEROS. Catching a touchdown with 16 yards receiving in Week 4 was a saving grace, but two donuts will always get you a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JIMMY GRAHAM

Jimmy, you were supposed to take the next step in your progression with Russell Wilson, but that really seemed to be lacking after your 3-8 and 1-1 stat lines in your first two weeks. You looked better in Weeks 3 and 4 with 7-72 and 4-61, but you have yet to find the endzone this year. The Seahawks are trying everyone at running back, so you should be a bigger threat in the redzone, but instead you are a continuing threat to get a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

KYLE RUDOLPH

Last season you made major strides from a yardage and touchdown standpoint, but you have fallen into full regression this season. You found the endzone in Week 1, but only had 26 yards, and followed that up with 4-45, 1-4 and 2-34 with no touchdowns. We know that Bradford has been out, but that hasn’t stopped Stefon Diggs. Maybe you can get your car out of the mud after this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MARTELLUS BENNETT

Martellus, you were supposed to be a big factor in the redzone and passing game for the Packers, but you have been mostly invisible. You have been held under 50 yards in every game this year and have yet to find the endzone. There are injuries all over the Packers roster and you still are not seeing a lot of targets from Aaron Rodgers. While Rodgers may not be targeting you, I sure am with your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JORDAN REED

Jordan, you have the ability to be one of the best tight ends in the game, but more often than not you frustrate the hell out of your fantasy owners, and this season is no different. Once again you are dealing with the injury bug and missed Week 3. In your other three games you have been held under 50 yards and have not scored a touchdown. You may already be hobbled, so hopefully you don’t break after this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

 


 

 

Houdini hanging on fire

 

By: Houdini

 

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