March 21, 2018


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Cleveland Browns

Money Ball: The Sequel

Hate to start out the offseason with the Cleveland Browns, but they are makin’ moves!
Browns acquired: Tyrod Taylor, Jarvis Landry, Damarious Randall
Browns gave up: 2018 3rd-round pick (No. 65), 2018 4th-round pick, 2019 7th-round pick, DeShone Kizer

Building with experienced quality performers that have something to prove, by selling inconsequential draft picks is exactly what Sashi Brown was building up for. It’s a shame he won’t be around to reap the rewards, but these are quality moves for a win-now mentality.

03/09/18, 09:37 PM CST by Wheeler


Tyrod Taylor

Buffalo Bills

Hue Looks To TyGoat

Browns left tackle Joe Thomas, who's pondering his future, is a fan of Tyrod Taylor and has said so on the ThomaHawk Show podcast.

Tyrod is just one season removed (2016) from being the QB11 in average fantasy ppg, including seven 20+ point weeks and six 15+ point weeks. Given the current talent on the O-line and skill position weapons he could improve on those numbers. He has the potential to be this year’s Alex Smith, definitely heading my late-round (12+) QB picks now.

03/09/18, 09:32 PM CST by Wheeler


Deshone Kizer

Cleveland Browns

Packers Get In On The Fun

The Packers have traded for QB DeShone Kizer from the Browns to Green Bay.

This is the best possible scenario for Kizer, who was thrown into the fire last season. Getting the chance to develop and learn behind the best in the business is the best chance he has for longevity.

03/09/18, 09:30 PM CST by Wheeler


Torrey Smith

Philadelphia Eagles

On The Move Again

The Eagles trade WR Torrey Smith to the Panthers for CB Daryl Worley. Torrey Smith could fill the old Ted Ginn role which makes this fairly interesting. Stagg Party says it’s more of a boost for Cam than Torrey himself.

This is an absolute perfect fit, someone who isn’t going to demand the ball, but can take the top off a defense while McCaffrey, Olsen, and Cam work underneath. Torrey is looking like a great late-round flyer.

03/09/18, 09:28 PM CST by Wheeler


DeMarco Murray

Tennessee Titans

Henry Hype Train Has Clear Track

DeMarco Murray was released by the Titans.
No surprise here, expect Derick Henry to be a lead back with 250+ touches, but they will bring in someone that will play the third-down, pass-catching role out of the backfield. I wouldn’t be surprised if they sign someone like Jerick McKinnon or Rex Burkhead, or even Darren Sproles or Charles Sims. There are also plenty of options in the NFL draft, Henry won’t be a true “Bell Cow.”

03/09/18, 09:17 PM CST by Wheeler


Marquise Goodwin

San Francisco 49ers

The Name Says It All

Marquise Goodwin and the 49ers have agreed to a 3yr extension worth $20.3M & 10M guaranteed.

Shanahan has found his big-play threat at a reasonable price. Goodwin caught 56 balls for 962 yards last season, but only had two TD’s. None of his six longest plays (33+ yards) were from Garoppollo so it leads me to believe they will still be looking for a top of the line WR, even with Garcon coming back from injury.

03/09/18, 09:15 PM CST by Wheeler


Jonathan Stewart

Carolina Panthers

The Search Is On

Former Panthers RB Jonathan Stewart is visiting the Seahawks today, source says. Seattle is looking at all options to get that ground game going.

This would be an interesting landing spot for Stewart, but no RB available in free agency is going to do spit behind this Swiss-cheese O-line.

03/09/18, 09:13 PM CST by Wheeler


New York Giants

Building Blocks

NFL draft insider Tony Pauline says "belief" around the league is free agent OG Andrew Norwell signing with the Giants is "a done deal."
The top guard on the market, Norwell was one of ex-Panthers GM Dave Gettleman's most-prized discoveries as an undrafted free agent. Gettleman now runs the Giants, who have needs all over the line.

I like anything the Giants can do to repair this disheveled O-line. Building a line through free-agency is almost always a better option than through the draft, but I would still like to see them trade back in the draft and grab Quenton Nelson, OG, Notre Dame.

03/09/18, 09:11 PM CST by Wheeler


Dion Lewis

New England Patriots

Pass Catching Backs Set To Dominate

On first downs this year, the Eagles allow a 65% success rate on RB-passes. That ranks 29th in the league. Dion Lewis averaged 6.5 YPA and a 59% success rate, and James White averaged 7.7 YPA and a 58% success rate on first down passes this season.

02/04/18, 10:36 AM CST by Wheeler


James White

New England Patriots

Pass Catching Backs Set To Dominate

On first downs this year, the Eagles allow a 65% success rate on RB-passes. That ranks 29th in the league. Dion Lewis averaged 6.5 YPA and a 59% success rate, and James White averaged 7.7 YPA and a 58% success rate on first down passes this season.

02/04/18, 10:36 AM CST by Wheeler


Philadelphia Eagles

Attack With 11

The Patriots defense is particularly susceptible to runs out of 11 personnel (1 RB, 1 TE, 3 WRs), allowing a 61% success rate and 6.0 YPC to offenses when rushing from this formation. The Eagles are one of the most run heavy teams from 11 personnel, recording nearly 60% of their total rushes from 11 formation. The Patriots haven’t faced teams like this often, the teams the Pats faced in the playoffs, Tennessee and Jacksonville were last and 5th lowest respectively rushing from 11 formation. This is a massive advantage for the Eagles if they recognize it and use it.

02/04/18, 10:32 AM CST by Wheeler


Jay Ajayi

Philadelphia Eagles

To The Left, To The Left

New England started the season off with one of the worst rush defenses in the entire league, but things have really shifted over the second half of the year. Prior to their Week 9 bye, the Patriots had allowed a 44.70% Success Rate to opposing running backs, the third-worst in the league. That's dropped to about 38% since, and they've had the fifth-best rush defense by Success Rate since Week 12. New England's especially been good at stopping runs to the left side of the field, which just so happens to be where Jay Ajayi has really made a mark since joining the Eagles in Week 9.
I don’t look for Ajayi to make his mark in this game. I know it’s a lazy narrative, but a Blount revenge game seems to really be in the cards here.

02/04/18, 10:30 AM CST by Wheeler


Zach Ertz

Philadelphia Eagles

Pats Could Hit'em Where It Ertz

Zach Ertz leads the Eagles in targets (39) with Foles under center, drawing at least eight in three of their four full games together. Keyed by FS Devin McCourty and SS Patrick Chung, the Pats allowed the NFL’s tenth-fewest receiving yards to tight ends (720) this season, only four opposing tight ends have reached 50 yards through 18 Patriots games.
If Foles continues to pepper Ertz with targets we could see a big game for Chung or McCourty.

02/04/18, 10:25 AM CST by Wheeler


Nelson Agholor

Philadelphia Eagles

Plenty Of Fluids

The Eagles’ biggest pass-catcher personnel mismatch is Nelson Agholor against Patriots slot corner Eric Rowe. Rowe can struggle with quick change of direction, Agholor’s foremost strength. Agholor runs 87% of his routes in the slot, and New England allowed solid games to Eric Decker (6/85/0) in the Divisional Round, and Allen Hurns (6/80/0) in the AFC title game. Agholor still ranks second behind Ertz in Foles targets (29), but has had a surprisingly quiet playoffs with just 7 targets.
This will have to change if the Eagles plan on moving the ball, but Agholor has been sick with the flu for the past few days. He received intravenous fluids Saturday and will play, but it doesn’t sound like he’ll be 100%.

02/04/18, 10:22 AM CST by Wheeler


Danny Amendola

New England Patriots

Danny Playoffs

The Eagles finished second worst this season in percentage of passing yards allowed coming after the catch. Philadelphia struggled on short and intermediate throws this season, specifically to the middle of the field, where they allowed the third-most yards per passing play in the league. Brady was a top-five player in passer rating on these types of tosses. Amendola's been a monster in this year's playoffs for New England, grabbing hold of 22 targets in just two contests, accounting for over 24% of New England's targets. He should continue to play a role on Super Bowl Sunday.

02/04/18, 10:20 AM CST by Wheeler


Rex Burkhead

New England Patriots

Rex Back

Despite being listed as questionable for Sunday’s AFC Championship game vs. Jaguars, it appears as though Patriots’ RB Rex Burkhead will play.
This will cut into the 13 targets Amendola saw last week.

01/20/18, 10:49 PM CST by Wheeler


Adam Thielen

Minnesota Vikings

Making The Wright Move?

Adam Thielen (back) is questionable for Sunday's NFC Championship game against the Eagles.
He's fully expected to play after limited practices the last two days. He probably won’t be 100 percent so if you’re putting in a line-up you might want to pivot to Diggs or save some money and drop down to Jarius Wright who grabbed three-of-six targets for 56 yards Sunday and has established himself as the number three WR in this offense.

01/20/18, 10:31 PM CST by Wheeler


Leonard Fournette

Jacksonville Jaguars

Ankle In Question Again

Fournette aggravated his ankle in the Divisional Round and was limited early in the week. He was left off the injury report for Sunday's AFC Championship game. Fournette saw a heavy workload last week getting 27 touches in Jacksonville's upset of the Steelers. T.J. Yeldon rushed five times for 20 yards and a touchdown and caught 3-of-3 targets for 57 yards. If you’re looking for a cheaper option I expect we see Yeldon to be used to keep Fournette from aggravating the injury early.

01/20/18, 10:23 PM CST by Wheeler


Tom Brady

New England Patriots

Give Him A Hand

Reports are that Tom Brady threw the ball "incredibly well" during Friday's practice. He is listed as questionable for Sunday's AFC Championship game against Jacksonville, but I don’t think there was any real doubt that he’d play. Keep in mind what D-Rex spoke about on the Pyro Podcast 303 andScott Barrett tweeted about Brady last week:
Weeks 1-10: 21.2 fantasy points per game, 110.9 passer rating
Weeks 11-17: 14.2 fantasy points per game, 87.3 passer rating
The hand injury on top of his achilles injury, as well as going against the Jags #1 rated pass defense could keep the Patriots attack grounded this week. Lewis is the obvious play, but if Burkhead (Q) comes back it could be he or White that steals the show.

01/20/18, 10:22 PM CST by Wheeler


Tom Brady

New England Patriots

Tom Still Terrific?

Tom Brady was first listed on the team's injury report with an Achilles injury heading in to Week 11.
Weeks 1-10: 21.2 fantasy points per game, 110.9 passer rating
Weeks 11-17: 14.2 fantasy points per game, 87.3 passer rating

Fantasy Goo: This should line up for a good week for Brady, Tennessee is 8th in fantasy points allowed to RB’s, but just below average against QB’s. The Patriots are 13 point favorites on Saturday Night, if Brady doesn’t do it at home in prime-time then something is wrong.

01/09/18, 07:30 PM CST by Wheeler


Alvin Kamara

New Orleans Saints

Primary Role Shifting

Saints have run 5 times at/inside opponent's 5-yard line over last 4 weeks (including playoffs):
Alvin Kamara 3 carries, Zach Line 1, Mark Ingram 1. Kamara was in on all 3 Saints run plays at/inside 5 vs. Panthers last week, including Line's 1-yard TD run.

Fantasy Goo: If you’re trying to decide between Kamara and Ingram for the playoff run, Kamara looks to be the much better play.

01/09/18, 07:20 PM CST by Wheeler


Judge Houdini doesn't hold back on his bitch slapping ways for the final installment of 2016

Bitchslap!!! Installment 4 of 4 (2016)

Posted by d-Rx on 02/01/17

by   The Archer


More Articals


The season is over and you have had time to digest your victory or your losses. This article is here to give you final resolution to your season if it ended poorly. I have taken it to the players throughout the season that have let you down, but the players in this list are the worst offenders. These players are the one’s that fell flat on their faces in the final four games of the fantasy season during Week 13-16. These players are all deserving of their time in slap spotlight, and I will also be crowning the winners of the infamous Golden Sombrero Bitchslap!!! There were many disappointments this season, and those poor performances made this year’s winners the largest class ever with six GSBS winners, or should I say LOSERS!!!








Drew, you had a fantastic season and helped your owners earn a lot of wins, but when you were needed the most you let them down. In Week 13 when some of your owners were fighting for a playoff spot, you threw for 326 yards, but with no touchdowns and three interceptions. Then you followed that up with another stinker, throwing for 257 yards with no touchdowns and three more interceptions!!! Anyone that needed you in that first round of the playoffs got bounced. You did well, finally, in Week 15 with 389 passing yards with four touchdowns and no picks, but you failed to deliver in the championship with 299 passing yards and just one touchdown. You get the regular season STUD, playoff DUD BITCHSLAP!!!



Philip you were very consistent in the final stanza, but consistent in the wrong way. You did throw for two touchdowns in every game, but you also threw seven interceptions. Then you failed to help out with any yardage, with games of 225, 236 and 206 in Week 13-15. You cost your owners their playoff wishes and caviar dreams giving you the Robin Leach BITCHSLAP!!!



Big Ben…more like Big Blah! You failed to deliver when you were needed the most. In Week 14 when the playoffs began, you took a BIG BEN DOOKIE on the field, throwing for 220 yards with no touchdowns and three interceptions. You followed that up with 286 passing yards, but just one touchdown. You tried to redeem yourself in Week 16 with 279 passing yards and three touchdowns, but you also threw two interceptions. You get the too little too late BITCHSLAP!!!



Cam, you have barely avoided my wrath all season, but your performance down the stretch left you nowhere to hide. In the first two games of this period you threw for 182 and 160 yards, with 12 and 31 rushing yards and one touchdown pass in each game, and one interception in Week 14. You did not have a rushing touchdown, and in your final two games only ran for a total of 36 yards. There was no dimension to your game this season, but you may find yourself in the fourth dimension after this BITCHSLAP!!!





You led your owners on a wild ride this season and cemented yourself as one of the best receivers in the NFL, but unfortunately your fantasy season ended in flames. You failed to score a touchdown in Week 13-15, and caught a total of 11 passes for 139 yards. Worst of all, your Week 14 performance cost me a chance to go to the title game!!! For this you get the good from far, but far from good BITCHSLAP!!!



Larry, you are one of the best receivers to ever lace up their shoes, but they tied together during the final stanza this season. You did not score a touchdown in your 24 catches, and only gained 178 yards, good for just 7.4 YPR. At that rate your going to need to catch a lot more passes to outgain your BITCHSLAP!!!



It was quite a disappointing end to the season for you, and you gave your owners diminishing returns each week. You gained 79 yards in Week 14, but then only 27 the following week, and a paltry 12 yards in Week 16 with no touchdowns. For those diminishing returns you have earned an increasingly strong BITCHSLAP!!!



Jamison, you were one of the biggest surprises of the season, and catapulted yourself from low-end bench player to starter. That jump in your production led you to being in most of your owner’s lineups down the stretch, but you left them a brown streak in their undies in return. You totaled 10 catches for a measly 106 yards with no touchdowns. You have earned the Coffee is for Closers BITCHSLAP!!!



Randall, you play on one of the best offenses for wide receivers but you failed to make a dent in the fantasy playoffs. In three games played you caught a total of six passes for 52 yards with one touchdown. Your game was weak, but this backhand is strong with your BITCHSLAP!!!





Delanie it is a surprise to see you here, but you have made a name for yourself and now you have to deliver on it, which in the fantasy playoffs you did not! You caught two passes for 30 yards in Week 14, followed up with six catches for 55 yards, and closed out with three catches for 23 yards with a touchdown. Not horrible for a tight end, but pretty horrible when you carried your owners in the previous stanza. Now you have to carry the load of this BITCHSLAP!!!








You started off this stanza with a bang in Week 13, carrying the rock 15 times for 106 yards with two scores, but then the playoffs happened. In the next three games you carried the ball 41 times for 109 yards with no touchdowns. Are you kidding me with a 2.7 YPC average!!! That pure pathetic display earns you the watch out for the rookie running back they draft in the second round next year BITCHSLAP!!!





Jason, your story was all about here and gone in this stanza. Your owners may have trusted you at the start of it, but you totaled just four catches for 26 yards in Week 13-14, with a goose egg in the former. That earned you a benching by all of your owners that were still alive, and then you catch 10 passes for 51 yards and followed that up with two receptions for 33 yards with a touchdown. The end was good, but not good enough to avoid your second BITCHSLAP!!!








Eli, this is your third time back, so obviously you did not learn anything from our past encounters. This was a particularly dreadful close to a dreadful season. You totaled just 589 passing yards in Weeks 13-15 with five touchdowns and three interceptions. You tried to make up for it in Week 16 throwing for 356 yards with a touchdown, but you also threw three interceptions nullifying your positives. You are once, twice, three times a BITCHSLAP!!!





Amari, you a star on the rise, but your star was definitely falling during this period. It started out with a decent fantasy day, catching two passes for 59 yards with a touchdown, but it was all downhill after that. In the first week of the fantasy playoffs you caught five passes, but only mustered 29 yards!!! You sure made up for that next week with you 28 YPR average, but that is because you only caught one pass for 28 yards!!! Your five catches for 76 yards in Week 16 did not make up for the losses you caused and earned you your third BITCHSLAP!!!



ARob, you were a thief too often this season, and your finish to the year was the ultimate robbery from your fantasy owners. Your performance in Week’s 13-15 was like an alcoholic hitting rock bottom. You caught a total of six passes for 63 yards and no touchdowns, and only 32 yards in the final two weeks. If your owners were alive in the championship you were not in their lineup, so your nine receptions for 147 yards in Week 16 was a slap in the face to your owners. For that and your repeated failures, enjoy your third BITCHSLAP!!!





Gary, you have a lot of built in excuses this season playing in the Browns offense, but you were never able to take advantage of being the second option in the passing game. In the fantasy playoffs your performance got better each week, but going from 27 yards to 35 yards and finally 42 yards in Week 16 without a touchdown is like kissing your cousin, and that is itself is worthy of a BITCHSLAP!!!





The time has come to crown the worst of the worst. These six players were among the worst in each of the four stanzas this season, and their pathetic displays earned them the most feared award in all of sports…THE GOLDEN SOMBRERO BITCHSLAP@!!



Ryan, there is not much to say here except that you were complete trash this season. The final memory you left us with was like puking all night and not brushing your teeth for the next week. In the three games you played during the final stanza you only threw for a total of 249 yards with NO touchdowns and four interceptions. There is no doubt that you are at the head of the class when it comes to this award this year. You are a well deserving owner of THE GOLDEN SOMBRERO BITCHSLAP@!!



Todd, you almost avoided this list with the two touchdowns that you scored in this period, but totaling 253 yards in four games is not good enough for a first round draft pick. You were the talk of the league last season, which drove your cost up this year, but your game this season was like an old Grand Marque spinning its wheels stuck in the snow. Hopefully you will either get some sandbags for your trunk or upgrade to an all wheel drive vehicle next year, but until then you have earned THE GOLDEN SOMBRERO BITCHSLAP@!!



Brandon, you have had a tendency to mail it in when things don’t go your way, and this season you sent it in overnight express mail. The end to the season could not come fast enough for your owners, as you laid egg after egg after egg. Your final four game yardage totals of 43, 33, 16 and 28 yards was a total disaster. You always have an opinion and now you have the GOLDEN SOMBRERO BITCHSLAP@!!



Michael, you literally fell asleep at the wheel during this stanza, played for two teams, and fell flat on your face in all aspects. In three games you caught a total of six passes for 42 yards with no touchdowns. You should be the poster child for this award, because I think you actually pissed on your own sombrero when you were drunk, so enjoy your self serve on THE GOLDEN SOMBRERO BITCHSLAP@!!



Talk about trying to run away with this award, but that is exactly what you did this stanza. You started out with two goose eggs, which basically cemented your place here. You then caught five passes for 81 yards with a touchdown the next week and another strong showing could have kept you safe from the sombrero, but you put up another dud with one catch for 12 yards. Those horrible performances locked down THE GOLDEN SOMBRERO BITCHSLAP@!!



Coby, your season could have been so different playing in an offense with the 5,000-yard man in Drew Brees, but you failed to capitalize on that advantage. In Week 13 you started off strong with five catches for 86 yards, but in the fantasy playoffs you totaled five catches for 46 yards and failed to score a touchdown in the stanza. You are my number one disappointment this year and the shameful owner of THE GOLDEN SOMBRERO BITCHSLAP@!!



By: Houdini


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